if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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