i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
