At least make sure they are 18
Why
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
