recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
