There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
