thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
