They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
