On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
