He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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