Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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