Swine flu. Run for my life!
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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