Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
two words: eviction party
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
