I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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