It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
