I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
