what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't deserve a penis
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
