if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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