Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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