Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
