I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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