I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
