is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
only if we run a train.
done.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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