id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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