can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
