The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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