he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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