I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
