i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
