ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He has the fingertips of a God
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