I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
