Rock
Scissors
Fuck
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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