Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
