What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
