I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
