Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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