I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
