Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
