What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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