Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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