Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
