Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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