I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
