Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
