To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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