And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
