We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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