I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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