like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
