I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
