dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
