put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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