her vagine was all disorganized.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
