I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
