Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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