I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I feel like a drive thru vagina
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
