At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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